I've been away and only reading up, so I am very late to reply to this, but still would like to add my thoughts on some of it. What a complex issue this topic has turned out to be. Some threads even developed so dead serious that I don't want to go there.

But in general I see this forum as a boy's playground and it is exactly what it is supposed to be. Play, have fun and share. I may not always like the language, but some of the older ones tell the young one how to play nicely. It is about learning and from what I hear from you the most important lesson to learn is that you are not alone and you are not weird. And any wife should be glad that you found this place since it is so much more than pink pics. (Especially the one complaining that you don't talk about your feelings..)

Ok, back to the initial question. I certainly agree that man and women always look. Only if he would deny it, that would get me suspicious and when I then stumble on some hidden files that would piss me off. Being your partner in life and you are trying to keep me dumb.

I wish we all had a little more trust in the other right from the beginning. I strongly believe that what you have not done in bed the first weeks of your relationship, you will hardly ever do with that person. Not saying what you want turns into secret wishes and desires loaded with guilt. Becoming the forbidden fruit when all you wanted was her hair touching your body.

I have no advice for the relationships where it's the big secret. Well, maybe asking her, if there is anything she is missing and would like to try out.

I am going to ask some ex lover if he had some unfulfilled wishes we didn't get to do for what reason...