Anya,

Now let me come back and give some answers to what you have said.

And I know these men will agree with you over me, because they worship the ground you walk on. I am just some unknown woman who doesn't believe in what y'all believe in. So I don't matter.

"-Not exactly, I do what *I* want. The last thing I ever wanna be remembered as is just a head of hair. Those who've gotten to know me, know I'm much more than that. "

I'm sure its not *just* the head of hair they are looking at in your pics.

"-I'm not sure what it is you're 'giving up' on, no. No one here is saying you're wrong for feeling the way you do... your concerns and your fears are real to you, and that's all that should matter. However, you're not going to change anyone's mind here, if that's what you originally set out to do. Looking at someone clothed or not, lust IS lust. A person doesn't have to be naked to be lusted after. "

Yes I do think they are saying and thinking I am wrong on my feelings because they keep coming back with " Poor me, I can't look at porn and go make love to my wife, or masterbate to it" that is just so wrong. I masterbate too, but I don't have to look at others to do it. It's natural to masterbate, everyone does it I don't care what they say. What am I giving up on? Mankind, life, why should I live in a world that is so scum ridden. I have thought about many times killing myself because of it. I have come close, really close. I have no children, thank God, so who cares. I am also not saying that desire is desire, clothes or not either. Everyone has their own opinions on things, and I know I won't change anyones mind here. Just give them something to think about. Do you know who will be by their sides when they are sick, dying, in need of some tender loving care when things go wrong? That they are flesh and blood standing right in front of them to offer them comfort? The ones that they commited themselves too, thats who. These women they look at (present company excluded, i hope) don't care what the hell happens to them. But do these men think of that, hell no.

"-I don't think anyone's arguing with you on this point. But consider the nature of a fetish. It's not some predisposed conscious decision to desire something more than another. If your husband developed some obscene obsession for chocolate, are you gonna go after Hershey's and demand they change their wrappers so as to make it less appealing? Do you realize the hair fetish is but a very small fetish in the grand scheme of all fetishes? It's minute compared to many. The fellows on this board know what they like, even though some may not even know why they like it... it just is. I'm sure the women they encounter on the street with long hair aren't running around naked, however it doesn't diminish the desire. So, your point about clothed vs non clothed is sorta moot here. Lust is lust, desire is desire."

I do not care about the hair fetish. That is not my point, let them look at hair who cares. I do have a question for you though. How does it make you feel to know you are taking the eyes of these men off of these mens wives/girlfriends on to you, and how does it make you feel to know that it hurts some of these women so bad that they become depressed? I really have always wondered what women who pose like you do think about that, if they think about it at all, and since I have your attention, I'd really love to know. I am certainly not trying to start a fight or anything, I am just very curious about all of this.

"-That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all, no. Obviously your problem with him doesn't really have to do with any hair fetish, it just has to do with him & his insecurities. Only you know what you have and if it's worth hanging on to or letting go. I do wish you the best in your situation. Life's too short to be unhappy.

No its not healthy, and no its not a hair fetish, he likes women with short or long hair, doesn't matter. You are right life is too short to not be happy, and if I can't solve this by leaving him, I will solve it by dying, thats all there is to it.

Thank you for your answers , I really appreciate your input, but I have to go now, I am crying like a waterfall.