No,

You make some good points and I hear what you're saying. But I think that the total mental exclusivity that women seek, or should I say demand, is an unrealistic expectation. Every man. And I mean every man. Looks at other women wantingly at one time or another. Whether its the woman in the car next to him on the freeway, the cashier at the 7-11, or the longhaired hottie on the Internet. Men are programmed to do this. Neither you, no matter how militant you are about the idea, nor anyone else can break us of this inherent drive coded in our genetics. So, can't there be a middle ground? As long as we don't stray or try to stray from the relationship in a physical sense? Wouldn't it be better to bring this out in the open and try to get something out of it as a couple instead of just beating us over the head with rhetoric (or worse, with our hard drives).

Sounds to me like your either over-reacting or your husband/partner took it to the next level and cheated on you. I'm sorry if you're suffering from something like that. Wish you the best and urge you to try to be understanding of his interest in viewing this material.